Building circles is about necessity, not social niceties
by HELEN HENDERSON, TORONTO STAR, Aug. 22, 2003
RON BULL/TORONTO STAR
Assistant Sarah Burns wheels Judith Snow into their van on Wednesday. Care providers immediately called Snow, who uses a ventilator, when the power went out.
Where do you begin if you want to put together a volunteer circle of support? Here are a few tips from consultant Judith Snow and others who have gone the distance:
• Don't wait for a crisis like a blackout; build circles for life.
• The biggest struggle is inviting people into your life, says Snow. People are embarrassed because we live in a culture that doesn't accept different abilities. Get over it. Often people you'd least expect it from say they are honoured to have been asked.
• Remember, you know more people than you think.
• A family may think that a teenager who doesn't speak, can't connect to the community, Snow says. But if you follow him for a day, you'll see he's a regular at a local burger chain, where they know he likes gravy on his fries. Try building on that connection.
• Your circle may contain a mix of family, friends, community people and people in health care services.
• Celebrate people for who they are. That means connecting by recognizing strengths and building on them.
• For example, says Snow, more than 80 per cent of those who know people with Down Syndrome say they have the ability to make other people happy. Think of turning that into a job, like welcoming visitors to a community event.
• Bring everyone in your circle together so they can get to know each other. That helps empower them, Snow says.
• Learn how to ask for what you really want, not what you think you can get.
• Challenge and stretch. Circles aren't about being nice, but about helping people thrive and survive.
• Take the time to build trust.
• Prepare people for disappointment. Not everyone you approach will follow through. Your circle may expand and contract. At different times, Snow says she has had as many as 50 and as few as five in her circle.
• If at first you don't succeed try and try again.
• Don't be afraid to give voice to dreams.
For more information, check out http://www.inclusion.com or e-mail judiths@ica.net.
