Changing Lives

FST COPE Parent Education and Support Program

Halima Hussein in Action

The COPE (Community Parent Education) program at Family Service Toronto illustrates the power of collaboration. This parenting education and support group program started 10 years ago in the Spanish-speaking community. At the time it had only one counsellor. Over time the program has grown to become a catalyst for creating capacity in Toronto’s priority neighbourhoods; today, several FST counsellors from across the city as well as staff from various community centres and schools work to engage program participants who become group facilitators using a ‘train-the-trainer’ model.

Why do we need parenting programs? According to Catherine Moffat, Manager of Counselling Services at FST “Parenting is 24/7. It’s an important role and an undervalued skill and it’s critical to the healthy development of children. In our society,

The open discussion format of the COPE groups eliminates the ‘expert’ voice and provides opportunities for groups to flesh out their issues, bringing families closer together and encouraging problem-solving. As an example, in one of the recent children’s groups it was revealed that bullying was a huge problem for more than half of the children. The following week, bullying was discussed in both groups and problems were solved through the sharing of rich stories about parenting in the Canadian context. Both the parents and the children’s groups are now working toward developing trust and openness between parents and children, and as advocates for an anti-bullying plan in the school.

In the last year, FST has run seven COPE programs across the city. To maximize participation, child-minding is also offered on-site for very young children. Snacks are provided, transit costs are covered, and translation can also be arranged. Each program is tailored to meet the needs of the participants and the communities in which they are located. For example, COPE meets the specific needs of newcomers when first generation parents may not have the skills needed to work effectively with schools and teachers and when cross-has another benefit: building the capacity of emerging leaders. Parent participants can be trained to become facilitators through a ‘train-the-trainer’ process which provides support in mentoring and facilitation over a two-year period. Facilitators from the community can then provide critical outreach to prospective participants. One of these parent leaders is Kadija Hayer, a Somali- Canadian who worked with the COPE program in her own Lawrence Heights Community as a participant, and is now a facilitator. In this role, she is “also an interpreter, translator and community worker” for the group in which many parents are of East African descent. An agronomist in her country of origin, Khadija likens the work of raising children to nature: “When you plant a tree, you must use good soil, and proper care. It’s the same as a child who needs a good environment and structure – COPE helps parents with these things. And you see results quickly!”

Kadija has seen first-hand the benefits of the COPE program in her own family and her community. As a mother of three children from ages six to pre-teen, Kadija reports that she has fewer arguments with her children because of the knowledge she gained in COPE – setting clear expectations, role modeling and planning ahead. Before COPE, she saw parenting as “a kind of power struggle”, but now it’s more about “responsibility and understanding.” She also has techniques to share with new groups of parents who come to COPE. “It’s not about teaching right or wrong,” Kadija says, “COPE helps parents react appropriately to their children when things go wrong.”

Another facilitator, Halima Hussein, lives in the Jamestown TCHC (Toronto Community Housing Corporation) neighbourhood where many Somali-Canadian families reside along with other tenant families. Halima began her participation as a translator and participant in the COPE program at her local school two years ago, and then became a COPE Trainee with FST COPE for one year. She now works as an FST COPE Facilitator.

Halima also works as a Community Development Specialist for a skills training organization and takes care of her eight children. She describes the holistic benefits of COPE: “I came from a culture of extended family where there was a lot of help in childrearing, to a culture here of nuclear families where the roles and responsibilities of men and women are different. COPE made these adjustments and adaptations easier.”

For example, in Somali culture, parents make decisions for children, but the consumer culture here makes it difficult for low-income parents to keep up with children’s expectations and wants. Another issue for many families is around chores and helping out at home. Halima shares her own story: “Now, we discuss as a family how to manage decisions on new clothes. After Ramadan, we all needed new clothes, so we got new t-shirts, 5 for $10, and each week I take one of my children shopping with me to help make decisions. Now there’s less tension around money and housework because we’ve created a collaborative routine, and there’s a sense of our family working together. There’s less yelling at home!” Evaluations show that parents report less stress and isolation and more confidence in parenting. As Halima says, “Parenting is not natural or easy; it’s a skill we all have to learn and COPE helps.”

Requests for FST COPE programs are welcome. Parents self-refer and participation is free. FST COPE is partially funded by the Ministry of Education. FST COPE Outreach Coordinator, Gillian Frise, welcomes inquiries at 416.595.0307 x230.